new year, new you?

Three Steps to Make Your Resolution for Better Relationships

It’s that time of year. A time to look forward and think about your goals for the coming year. For many of us, we think about pulling out the old treadmill or dusting off those running shoes in the back of the closet. Our resolutions tend to focus on the outside, on what other people see. 


But what if this year, you look inside?


This could be the year you focus on your heart and soul. The year you begin a healthy relationship or heal a broken one.


2020 has been a challenging year. There’s no doubt about that. How has it affected you? The constant changes pull at us and throw us off our game. The pressure we feel in our world is real and stressful. The result? It can take a toll on your relationships. Relational connection feels more difficult. Good relationships can feel strained. Bad relationships can feel worse. 


Are you ready to make a resolution about relationships? Do you need to take on the challenge of a restored relationship that feeds your heart? 


Whether it’s the relationship you have with someone else or the relationship you have with yourself, this could be the year you heal. We can help with that. 


Here are some ideas to help you focus your resolution for renewed and improved relationships:


Be Specific. It sounds terrific to want “better relationships.” We all want that! So set a goal you want and make it specific. The more specific, the better. That focus creates a direct and measurable set of behaviors: 


“I want to talk to a counselor about the resentment I feel toward my mother and get peace this year.”


“I want to be honest with my husband.”


Say It Positively. You’re more likely to succeed in your goal if you focus on positive behavior. The way we talk to ourselves can influence our success. Think about what you want to do instead of what you want to avoid. Try to be both specific and positive in your goals: 


Negative: I want to stop fighting with my wife about money.


Positive: I will work with my wife to create a budget and stick to it monthly. 



Get Help to Reach Your Goals. Every goal needs a framework to stand on and measure success. It’s great to want something better, but what has stopped you in the past? Why do so many resolutions fail? The answer may be buried more deeply inside of you than you think. There may be habits that stand in the way. Healing relationships isn’t like losing weight. When you take off the pounds, your scale measures it for you. A resolution for a renewed relationship is a worthwhile goal that will pay off for your entire life. It can require you to look at learned behaviors and examine boundaries. If you are healing yourself and your relationship, how will you know when you’ve reached the place you want to be? Do you need to talk to a counselor about a plan to achieve those goals? Seek out resources to set yourself up for success. 


At True Relationships, our goal is connection and authentic relationships. That means you can have a healthy relationship with your own heart and with those around you. If this is the year you are ready for renewal, we are here to help. Book a time with one of our therapists or pastoral counselors to turn your resolution into a reality


And have a Happy New Year!



Tags: New Year, Renewal, Connection, Goals, Resolutions

Additional references:

Abadi, Mark. “A psychotherapist says there are 3 common reasons so many people's New Year's resolutions end in failure.” Business Insider. Dec 19, 2019. 
Mitchell, Elizabeth. “18 New Year's Resolutions Every Married Couple Should Make Together.” Brides.com Oct 29, 2019.